BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! to all none of my loyal readers, yes I am evil for making you wait so long!!!!


and... uhh... yup... I got a truck. 1984 Dodge Ram. purty cool..

The 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Brougham was the perfect show-off of death machines. It consisted of nearly three tons of steel stamped into a massively mawed, high-tailed beast, lined with enough chrome to build a Terminator and still have parts left over-most of it in long, sharp strips that peeled off on impactand became lethal scythesto flay away pedestrian flesh. Under the four headlights, it sported two chrome bumper bullets that looked like unexploded torpedoes or triple-G-cup Madonna death boobs. It had a noncollapsable steering column that would impale the driver upon any serious impact, electric windows that could pinch off a kid's head, no seat belts, and a 325 horsepower V8 with such appallingly bad fuel efficiency that you could hear it trying to slurp liquefied dinosaurs out of the ground when it passed. It had a top speed of a hundred and ten miles per hour, mushy, bargelike suspension that could in no way stabilize the car at that speed, and undersized power brakes that wouldn't stop it either. The fins jutting from the back were so high and sharp that the car was a lethal threat to pedestrians even when parked, and the whole thing sat o tall, whitewall tires that looked, and generally handled, like oversized powdered doughnuts. Detroit couldn't have acheived more deadly finned ostentatia if they'd covered a killer whale in rhinestones. It was a masterpiece.



The preceeding was a quote from Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job.
This book is one of the funniest I have ever read. Go out and find it.

Harry Potter and the muggle gunsmith

Seriously, though. What the hell is up with this? all of these books, and everyone is still using magic as a friggin' crutch, not an aide. there are some situations in which a firearm would have been a great asset, but Noooooooo! they're all waving wands and (to use the british vernacular) mincing about like a load of poofters*. In the final battle, for example I wouldn't have bothered with a wand for anything more than summoning up another clip of ammo for my AA12 Autoatic shotgun. (Not that I own one, but if I can summon the clips, then why not the gun?)I'd ave my MP3 player pumping hardcore techno, and powermetal, and I'd be smokin' some death eaters.

Simple, right?




*gay people**
**nothing against you all. ur cool in my book.

Okay, new great song: My Girlfriend's Dead, by The Vandals.
this song is pure hilarity, and does not reflect in any way shape or form on my relationship with my girlfriend.
uhhh... lunch today was a peanut butter (chunky) and Jelly (raspberry) sandwich.

Rain Part Deux

Well, that was entertaining, I had to run outside, (in the rain,) to heft heavy stuff. Ok. I'm bitching way too much. sorry. I just hate the rain. I'm like a dog who doesn't like a bath, but, What's this? go swimming? OK!!
Ach. just take the complaints with a grain of salt, eh?

rain

it is pissin' down out there. I am glad I got to work in time this morning, but how I'm to get home dry is a mystery. I must walk, and I have no umbrella. I must walk, because the loverly Camaro I wrote about earlier... yeah, it doesn't really... work... legally... it's kinda... loud without , well, you know... an exhaust. also, something's off with the idle, so I can't drive it without a fifteen minute warmup period. and the tires are half flat.
So I must forge my way through the downpour to Mama's Pizza for a nice, toasty Chicken Grinder (Ohhhhhhhhhhh, MMmMmmMmmmMMmmMmMMMmmMMMM.....) then back for more work. Why did I not make my lunch this morning?

My car

I have a 1987 Chevy Camaro. I love it. (note: not as much as my G/F)
It has:

• A 305ci small block V-8
• 165 HP (well, new it did, who knows now)
• An automatic transmission :(
• A terrible red paintjob (the second it's had, I might add.)
• A four-point seatbelt (driver's side)
• No rear seat (but who'd fit, anyways?)
• Crappy trunk struts
• Sweet 15" firebird wheels (Waaaay better than the 14" rims it came with.(still have them
• A custom paintjob (Homemade, Cost: $4.00, if that, appearance: well, it's not pro, but it looks OK. I painted the hood flat black from the top corners to the headlights.)